Mia

She blew out the candle and made herself boss
She removed the light and I'm feeling the loss
She messed up the image, turned it to moss
Now all is darkness

The candle smoulders, has hope returned?
It flickers a while, my stomach churns
But the flicker dies out and hope is spurned
Now all is darkness again.

Help

Help.
I don't know where to go
Its too much for me now
I'm at an all time low

There's nothing left to say
I don't know when or how
I can't see my way
Help.

Tired

These last few days Lord have been so hard.
I'm in a pit and my body is scarred.
My mind's in chaos, my life's a mess,
There's stuff inside that I just can't express.

I don't know what to do Lord, what to say.
How has my life turned out this way?
What's left to do Lord? Where do I turn?
I think of you and my stomach starts to churn.

I'm all out of hope Lord, there's nothing left.
I'm all out of fight. I'm tired and bereft.
I need you right now Lord to help me to stand,
And to let me stay here Lord, in the palm of your hand.

Tomorrow

I give you tomorrow.
I give you control.
I fully surrender.
I give you the whole.
I wont hold it back.
I wont try to prove.
I wont have an agenda.
I wont refuse to move.

Silence

In the silence of this space
I feel the tears run down my face.
I close my eyes against the dread
Of thoughts twirling inside my head.
I listen to my mind convulse
And feel the pain with every pulse
As quietly I break the skin
And let relief come floating in.
My thoughts are released in a flood
As I watch the flow of deep red blood.

Doubt

I believe in you God, I think.
I don't understand,
The world seems unplanned,
But I trust in you God, I think.

I want to believe in you God.
I'm hurting and scared,
In chains and ensnared,
But I want to trust in you God.

I need to know this is real.
Not just emotion and hype
Not made up tripe,
Jesus, can I trust its all real?

I still love you Father, I do.
But where are you Lord?
The God I adored?
I want to still love You, I do.

Consumed Mind

My Mind is consumed by a 'thing',
I can't stop thinking about it,
Always end up praying about it,
Simply can't get away from it.

This 'thing' may require me to act,
To make a commitment to it,
Start saying 'yes' to it,
Change my world for it.

I have been frustrated for so long,
Waiting for an answer,
Wanting to know my part,
Desperate to have a role.

Is this 'thing' simply in my mind?
Me making my own answer?
Making it more than it is?
Making me feel significant?

Is my mind consumed by it all,
Because its the answer I seek?
My task, my role, my part,
That will make my frustrations cease?

Is my mind consumed by it all,
Because I'm making it so?
To feel I am doing something?
The next big thing to do?

If I ended up saying 'Yes'
Would it all get better?
Will my frustrations end?
Or will they just get bigger?