Christmas

Well Christmas day has happened and it was filled with fun,
Many many things to laugh at, many presents shared.
Games were played, dvd's watched, toys and gadgets prepared,
Ready to be used or played with throughout the rest of the year.

So when I am asked 'so how was your Christmas'? how can I not say,
'It was truly wonderful, a really special day'.
I can't because that is the truth, I really enjoyed myself,
I love my family so very much. being together is so much fun.

The only thing that was missing-the biggest thing I guess,
Was my true worship of Jesus, and willingness to be blessed,
By all that he can teach me at this special time of year.
I don't know why I won’t let him touch me, unless its simply fear.

I’m sorry lord I know you're there I know you know my heart.
But there's this stuff I ought to let go of, but honestly I can’t.
I want to please you, worship you, feel you, I want to trust in you,
But the truth is I don't and i'm scared and alone, afraid that none of its true.

I want to beieve.
Help my unbelief.