Release

I'm laying in the darkness.
Doing nothing,
Just laying here,
With thoughts swirling around in my mind.
And with each new thought that comes
I get more tense,
More agitated,
More frustrated.
And I need to release it.
Need to throw something,
Need to rip something.
Cutting isn't helping anymore,
I need something new.

I tried burning my arm,
But couldn't handle the pain,
Another failure.
I tried slicing my thumb.
That wasn't enough.
I punched a wall.
Again, not enough.
I considered finding a vein to cut,
So that I would see the blood flow,
But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
It would be to obvious,
People would see,
People would know.

I must get thin.
It's the only way out.

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