Mind battle

Who's playing with my head?
Who's causing this confusion?
Leave me alone. Let me be.
I call you the spirit of intrusion.

I was fine as I was - not great, but fine.
In general, I was getting by.
But now I'm not, I'm completely messed up.
Cutting myself, but refusing to cry.

Yes tehre are things I believe about myself,
Which by some may be viewed as 'lies'.
But I've lived with these thoughts all of my life.
They're my identity, my soul, my eyes.

My eyes through which I view the world,
And how it related to me.
To change all of that is to change who I am.
There's more to it than just being free.

I hear the logic of what you are saying.
And the inconsistencies in my mind.
And yet what if you're lying, and my 'lies' are the truth,
And you are just trying to be kind.

I can't just accept that I'm ok.
I'm not, and I just can't pretend
That all of these failures that define who I am
Are excusable. That, I can't comprehend.

And yet what you say makes so much sense,
But I refuse to fall into the trap.
Of being satisfied with who i am
And never dealing with my crap.

So why can't you stop messing with my head?
You're causing my mind to explode.
I'm getting so tangled, so tensed up inside,
And its causing my mind to corrode.